A few days ago I was catching up with a good friend on the phone. This friend always effortlessly creates a space in conversations where I feel safe sharing, especially things that make me feel vulnerable. We were talking about the past year and two different health challenges that left me feeling frail. I hadn’t felt strong or myself in quite a while. I shared that I felt as though my light had been dimmed.
These aren’t the exact words, but she said something to the effect of, “You are strong and will absolutely be back to feeling like yourself soon.” It was intended as completely loving and logical, which is how I heard it too. As soon as she finished the words something happened. I heard myself say back, “I’m actually ready to be Sherry Version 2.0. I am tired of wanting to return to becoming the same person I was before my neck was injured or whatever health thing randomly popped up. It’s time to stop wishing for who I used to be and just be excited for who I am now. It’s time to stop looking back and allow myself to become a brighter, stronger and happier Sherry, a new You: Version 2.0”.
I have no idea where this came from but the moment it came out of my mouth, I felt an actual weight lift off my shoulders. The burden of continuously trying to look back suddenly lifted. The pain of trying to rekindle what I believed I had lost dissipated.
Truth is, we will never be who we were last year, before kids, before illness, before we gained 10 pounds, before…….insert any everyday life situation here. The big things and the little things in our lives change us. Time marches on and we change. We are not able to turn back the clock to a time when we think we remember ourselves as happier, skinnier, healthier or whatever we yearn for that we believe we no longer have.
Wouldn’t it then make more sense to put our energy and enthusiasm into what’s coming next even if we don’t know what that is? Wouldn’t it be more healing and supportive to be like, Hell yeah I’ve changed, and I’m ready to allow the next, even more awesome version of myself to emerge?
Don’t waste your precious energy or time looking back. Know with absolute certainty that whatever it is that you yearn for is in front of you not behind you. It’s amazing and brave to strive toward the things that make you happy, feel healthy and most alive. Do that as you look forward instead of back. Give yourself time and allow yourself to become You: Version 2.0.
You’ve got this and I support you in every way,
Sherry
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I had an injury a few years back. Two lumber and one cervical surgery later along with a host of pain meds I am finally beginning to feel like myself again. I have mourned the person I was and the career I lost but now I celebrate each day off of pain meds and able to participate in life and yoga (which by the way I thought I never could). Life is full of surprises, it’s our attitude that will determine the quality of life we will have.
Yes! Josie, what an incredible and valuable realization. You could have easily stayed in the place of mourning for what you felt you had lost. That would have continued to strip joy from your life. You are strong and brave my friend. We love and support you in all of your versions.