Recently I was asked to be a guest on my first-ever Podcast. It is called the Fearless Women’s Podcast and is a show for women who feel stuck in their lives and are looking to reconnect with themselves. The invite humbled, excited and terrified me. In the same moment, I was both thrilled to be asked, but my internal dialogue started wailing…”Oh my god, I hope she doesn’t find out that I’m not actually fearless at all. I am frequently paralyzed by fear.” The very prospect of talking about being fearless as she taped us to broadcast, brought up an undeniable amount of fear.
Somehow, despite the immediate fight or flight reaction that swelled in my belly and chest, I accepted her invite and we set a date. The day of the interview, we met in the smaller, back yoga studio because it is quiet, filled with love and a place where I already feel comfortable. We sat in chairs facing one another with recording equipment sitting on a chair between us. It felt slightly nerve wracking. Be cool I thought. Then suddenly, I was able to remind myself that she wasn’t looking for cool, she was looking for real.
Dr. Madalyn hosts the show and is a gracious and talented interviewer. Speaking with her became easy quite readily. It wasn’t until we were in the thick of our podcast conversation that I heard myself say that what I thought actually made me fearless was that in spite of my constant companion, fear; I consistently chose to do things anyway. I continued to do things that surprised me, even with all of those fears.
Hearing that remark come out of my mouth was like being set free. And there I was, acknowledging my fear instead of trying to shame it away or pretend that it didn’t exist. I didn’t judge the fear or myself for having the fear, and that felt incredible. Previously, I told myself that being fearful was a blemish on my character. I thought it was something shameful and broken that could only be revealed to those closest to me.
It wasn’t until I was sitting with Dr. Madalyn, recording a conversation for an audience of thousands that I heard myself say something very different. Hearing my own words made me realize that I didn’t believe that fear was something ugly or shameful at all. Although I felt fearful, I moved forward and accomplished what scared me anyway. As a result, it chipped away at that negative belief. I systematically changed my own judgement that my fear was a character flaw. Now I see that each tiny success had built upon another, until I had changed my own mind. Being fearful allowed me to be fearless.
This is what I want for you. If you have ever felt like you were under the thumb of fear, I would like you to tell yourself that it is okay. Feel safe to acknowledge your fear, then be willing to consider it an asset. It is not a thing that you need to fix. You are not broken. Quite the opposite, you are strong, amazing and brave in your own life. The option is yours to say to yourself, “This is not how this story ends.” Trust in you to move forward, even through fear. You can do this.
It is my hope that our 20 minute podcast will help you know that you are not alone in your struggle. You are brave and you are strong and you are enough, just as you are. I support you today and always.
If you would like to listen to the podcast, follow this link and click on the play arrow. Podcast link.