I want to begin a conversation about something many of us work so hard to hide: depression. It’s time to normalize honesty about our mental health struggles instead of wrapping them in shame and silence. When we remove the stigma and fear around revealing our pain, we discover something vital, that we are not alone. And that truth can save lives.
Because I’m a yoga teacher, people often assume that I live in the same happy, grounded place they see when I’m guiding class. Since I share quotes about self-love and wholeness, it might be easy to imagine that I speak from a place of knowing and acceptance. But that isn’t my full story.
Even after years of therapy, a decade of yoga, and an enormous amount of internal work that has transformed my life, depression still lingers, an unpredictable dark cloud that can drift into my day without warning.
My depression doesn’t always look the same. Sometimes it’s subtle: waking up critical of my body or just feeling less than or small. Other times, it’s much heavier, threatening to consume me completely. There have been moments when I’ve convinced myself that my partner, Sandy, would be better off without me. That’s when I signed a No-Harm Contract with my primary care physician promising her that if I ever felt unsafe with my thoughts, I would call her first.
That was a vulnerable, sobering moment in my life. But here’s the thing: I refuse to be ashamed that sometimes my thoughts are darker than the light I try to share. I will not hide the parts of me that hurt because hiding isn’t how we heal. I want to live the rest of my life feeling happy, whole, and free from the inner judgment and painful words I grew up believing about myself.
Over the years, I’ve tried just about everything to live safely and peacefully with my depression; jogging, supplements, therapy, journaling, even gin and tonics. But nothing has helped me as deeply as yoga.
Yoga taught me how to re-inhabit my body and, eventually, how to love it. This was no small task after forty years of practicing self-criticism. Yoga helped me see my body as strong, capable, and yes, even beautiful.
It also taught me to be present. Through the simple awareness of breath, yoga anchors me even when I’m lost in darkness. Sometimes, just a few breaths of relief from that heaviness are enough to help the sadness begin to move or soften. That alone feels miraculous.
Yoga has also taught me how to meet myself exactly where I am, without judgment or longing. Living with a progressive disease like rheumatoid arthritis means that every day, my body feels different, like we’re meeting again for the first time. I never know how much energy, flexibility, or strength I’ll have. That’s why any yoga I can do is great yoga.
Before finding this practice, I would have labeled those physical changes as failure. Now, I understand that if I’m breathing and moving in any capacity, I am succeeding. And that feels incredible.
If you’re living under your own dark clouds, please know this: you are not alone. You don’t have to pretend to be okay when you’re not. You don’t have to smile when what you really need is a good, messy cry. We see you. We love you, just as you are.
Together, we are a community. A strong, resilient, and compassionate community. We care for one another, show up for one another, and hold space for one another. Every time we practice together, send a message, or share a moment of honesty, we strengthen the ties that connect us all.
Please know, wherever you are, whether in Madeira Beach, Canada, South Dakota, or anywhere between, we are with you. When life feels too heavy to breathe, we’ll help you find your breath. When you feel alone, we will remind you that we’re here.
We are all here for you, and I thank you for always being here for me.
I love you.
Sherry Duquet, co-owner of Madeira Beach Yoga, yoga instructor
In the US and Canada: Call or text 988 or chat 988lifeline.org. The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is a national network of local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
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